I used to be a compulsive gambler on poker machines.  I stopped using them in 2007.

Stopping was the first priority and only now do I realise the likely reasons I got hooked 

I had problems with being on my own due to a fractious family of origin. The first compulsion was to socialise a hell of a lot, total gadfly. 

Boredom was involved as a contributing factor. I enjoy my boredom today to the point that it attracts the ire of doctors.

The poker machine offered a journeying that was random yet with a meditative consistency.  The big money payout was the grand chemical hit from beyond.  The machine isn’t purely random, though – a replica of that ofc, and was regulated by a killer algorithm the state government adores to this day.

I won the maximum once x3 x5 on $5 hits. 1 in a million. It wasn’t as much as I thought I’d get. I bought some electronics,  a trip to Argentina, but was back soon enough, scratching my ass searching for a dollar coin

I did rehab soon after. Suspended my disbelief for eight months. It did the job. It saved my life

Ariel Riveros Pavez Avatar

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One response to “Whistful Gambler Memoir”

  1. Betting On Recovery Avatar
    Betting On Recovery

    As a gambling addict in early recovery, i commend you on quickly gaining insight and addressing your problem. It took me 12 years to do so. Boredom and loneliness were definitely major contributors.

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